Have you ever felt guilty for getting annoyed by your child? I have. And I sure hope that I’m not alone in this. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son with every fiber of my being. He is my heart. He is my world. But sometimes, he makes me want to scream. That’s actually what first inspired this post a few months ago. The little booger was squirming and fussing instead of just going to sleep like it seemed he wanted to do. I just felt like I was going to scream from being so frustrated. And as I decided to just give up and try to write, my dear son just laid there and smiled the biggest smile at me. I’ve also been so wrapped up in things that don’t matter and my sweet boy would start to get fussy. I would get flat out annoyed because it was an inconvenience that he wanted attention at that moment. But the moment I would stop what I was doing long enough to look at him, the fussiness would stop and a smile would replace a pouty face. All it took was for me to take a moment to focus on what really mattered. In that moment, I felt like the worst mother ever. I had lost sight of what was important and it broke my heart that I had denied my son the little bit of attention he needed. In moments like that, I have to just pause, take a breath, and pray. It’s important to remember that moments with my child are more important than other people’s moments posted on social media. I need to be present and cherish each smile, laugh, kiss, and milestone and remember why I do what I do every day. It’s also important to remember that I’m human and flawed. There will be moments where I’m not the best mom ever and lose focus on what matters. I will feel guilty. Those moments are unavoidable. How I respond in those moments is something I can control. Parenting is tough. Your life is now centered around the precious life that God entrusted you with. When you feel like less of a parent or even less of a person because you messed up, know that we can’t do this on our own. Our flesh will fail us and if we try to do this on our own, we will continue to fail. We need to lay our shortcomings at the feet of Jesus and stop trying to be super mom and be perfect. Lean on Him and trust that He is strong enough to help you through this.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christʼs power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV