I remember 8 months ago after bringing my son home from the hospital, I became a bit of a shell of my former self. Hormones are no joke and they can make us act in ways we never thought we would. They tell you what to look for for Postpartum depression, but nothing could have prepared me for the coming months. I went over the signs of Postpartum depression I had been told to watch for in my head and didn’t exhibit any, but I still didn’t feel right. Looking back, my body had just been through a major event and I wasn’t going to go back to 100% normal right away. I spent days just sitting on the couch holding my baby and crying. Crying because he wasn’t going to be a little bitty baby forever and I was already mourning the end of a stage that had just begun. I had been told to “enjoy every minute” of the infant stage and I was so worried that I wasn’t enjoying him enough or that I would miss out if I attempted to do anything else. I was trying to figure out my new role as a mom and a stay at home mom and wife and juggle a new infant and housework. It was a task I had expected to do perfectly from the beginning so in my eyes, I had failed when laundry still needed to be done or dishes washed. Especially if my husband innocently asked what I had done that day and I didn’t feel like I had an adequate answer. I wasn’t living up to the standard I had set for myself and so I gave into that feeling of failure. I remember it being a good day when my husband would ask how my day had been and I could tell him it was a good day because I didn’t cry. There were days where I felt like Wylder would be better off if I just went back to work and he spent the bulk of his days with someone else. Those days were hard and I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m here to tell you that it does get better. There are still days that are hard and where I doubt myself, but it is not as bad as it was in the beginning. As my husband says, I have perked up in the past 8 months. When times are hard, be sure to pray and be in God’s Word and read His sweet promises for you. And some extra cuddles with your baby is always good for the soul. Be sure to take care of yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically. I promise dear Mama, it does get better.
